Saturday, February 25, 2017
I have much to do today, even with a full, no-guilt day off, and thus this going to be short again. Yesterday was a day I hope not to repeat. Some ugly stuff reared its head, and I reacted rather than responded, which led to a few uncomfortable hours I don't want to go through again--nothing concrete, just some feelings and memories I don't care to experience regularly. I am going to say this much. My friend John posted about ten days ago on Facebook about how many men hassle, proposition, and otherwise bother a lot of women on social media and text messaging. It's worse for women that have histories of active addiction, that have been prey for these kinds of men in the past; there's no shortage of men out there that are perfectly willing to attempt to destroy what has taken months to build for the sake of momentary pleasures, offering whatever incentives come to hand. I'm aware of this--I have three daughters in the digital age, how could I not be? And there will be a post at some point about what kind of people do this.
Today is not that day.
It took some time, but it was dealt with. I never realized that de-escalation techniques that I practice every day at my job would become necessary at home--but then again, this is part of the package when you are with someone that has a history of trauma. And I am beginning to really understand that she is not the only one with a history of trauma that lives here. It was a hard day, but we got through it, and, like all experiences, it can be and hopefully learned from.
And then, as if there wasn't enough going on yesterday, the dog got sick. Diarrhea now for 18 hours, vomiting on the blankets and floor at 1 AM... it was one of those days when you wish dogs, who are in most aspects like a toddler human being, had at least a toddler's grasp of and ability to speak human language. I probably could have avoided the need to change the sheets at 1 AM if I had not been half-asleep, but still, the signs in retrospect were there, and I wish I had known then what I know now. He still has diarrhea, but he ate healthily this morning and doesn't seem to be in much distress, so with fingers crossed, we are looking forward to the day. Peace, love, and understanding.