Thursday, January 26, 2017

Moving Along

Today marks the end of my first week at the new job. I have to do some respite work with some youth as a part of my new job, and since all of them are in school of one sort or another, you almost have to work on one of the weekend days. I don't really mind, especially since the day I'm going to be working is going to be Sunday. And the nine hours I worked this Sunday concluding my assignment to my former job counts as part of this week. And I am having cause to remember one of the minor frustrations of working with youth and their families; they have lives and obligations, too, and sometimes are not available when it would be convenient for me. I'm not stressing it, though; as the weeks roll by, and the new routines become established, I am sure I will look back with nostalgia at this week, when the most pressing concerns I had were reading case files and waiting on people to call me back.
And other areas of my life seem to be in sync and moving forward, too. The comfortable routine I have established for meeting attendance has, thus far, not needed to be altered. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was asked to sponsor someone again, and that happened last night; Dave has a number of years clean and is looking for some guidance in life on life's terms matters more than putting it down, and historically those are the type of recovering addicts that I both appeal to and that I end up working well with for a long time. When Aldo and I talked the other night, we agreed to make an effort to stay in better touch, and I realized just how much I have missed his regular presence in my life. I am meeting my sponsor for breakfast tomorrow. My good friend Anthony is opening a new meeting next week in Endwell, a locale that sorely needs one, on a day I usually don't go to meetings, and I will at least check it out.
Sabrina's heard from the justice system on her ticket; it's going to cost more than I'd rather pay for her to continue to drive, but if there was one thing I learned during the week we were waiting on the title to her car, it's that I have no desire to return to the time before she could drive; I will pay the fines and she will partially reimburse me as her job hours allow. Hopefully the lessons have been learned. The worst of the mono is over for her, but she still tires very easily; we caught a break that this week is the week for winter Regents testing in New York, and that she hasn't missed more classes than she has. She is going to attempt to go to a track meet this weekend, out in Houghton, and while the expectations aren't great, she will at least be back in competition before sectionals and state qualifiers. And--knock on wood--the fire seems to have died regarding the boyfriend she had. I think he just took her for granted once too often.
And this Saturday is a Lauren day. I have one more visitation weekend after this upcoming one, and she will be home in less than four weeks. I am growing both more excited and more wary; I have seen a number of people, male and female, who are returning to society after being away struggling like hell, and several are already back in jail. I don't anticipate problems of that nature, but it is going to be an adjustment. But it also could turn out to be the beginning of something spectacular, and I am choosing to focus on that aspect of it all.
And after so much uncertainty and a lot of storms in the past year to year-and-a-half, it's a bit of a relief to stop, look around, and say to myself, "things are under control and going relatively smoothly." I got through some difficult times without descending into wholesale unmanageability. It's more proof, as if I needed it, that the way of life I have consciously striven to follow for many years is the path I need to be on. It's odd, but I was sitting in the meeting last night, and for about the fifth time this year, I listened to the topic for the day and thought, "I've gone through this in the past, but today I really don't have much to say about it." And that actually is a pretty good feeling, when you're not consumed with the need to share at a meeting because all sorts of crap is raining down on you. And sitting there quietly allows you to focus more on what others are saying, and sometimes I hear some pretty profound things, too.
It isn't always going to be like this. I've learned to enjoy these periods, because if there is one constant in life, it's that it changes unexpectedly without notice. But right now, it's a good life, and I can't tell you how enjoyable it is to be trying to wake fully up at 6 AM on a Thursday morning instead of struggling to stay awake because I've been up for 24 hours and at work all night. And no matter what happens that eventually breaks the spell, that isn't going to change.

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