Saturday, November 19, 2016

Preparing to Hibernate

I've always been a fall/winter person. As a kid, I was very athletic and into sports, and the two I liked the best, football and hockey, were played in those periods of the year. As I grew up, that initial inclination hardened into real preference, for several reasons. One is that you can always put something on when you're cold; there are limits to how much clothing you can shed when you're hot. Another is that insects are disappearing in the fall and absent in winter, and I have no affection or liking for our six-legged competitors for world dominion. Another is that, concurrent with my dislike of feeling hot, I also am indifferent at best to hours and hours of sunlight; it honestly does not bother me to have the sun come up late and go down before dinner time. And lastly, most of my leisure activities at this point in my life are rather sedentary. Reading, writing, and surfing the Internet are indoor activities, for the most part, and in the less green half of the year, I can indulge in them without feeling like I am missing something.
And peculiar to this period of my life, when you work nights, it becomes easier to sleep during the day when the day isn't quite as long. And it's also easier to grab a nap before work, too, if it's already dark outside. A couple of days last week and today, I slept after dinner and woke up about an hour before having to go to work. I did it today because I am traveling in the morning after getting out of work, and I'd rather not run off the road in some hamlet north of Ithaca asleep at the wheel about 11 AM tomorrow. But napping after dinner has its costs, too; I missed a meeting I usually make because I was asleep.
But if I ever start the new job, a lot of it is going to be in second shift hours, I am discovering, which means I am going to have to readjust my meeting attendance, anyway. While it was nice to be making meetings every day for a couple of months, that rededication has sort of run its course; I'm finding myself paying less attention and getting less out of some of the meetings I was going to as it was. I can probably cut back to three or so a week. I do intend to make my home group tomorrow; I should be back in town in plenty of time.
But with winter coming, and with other recommitments in place, I think it will be likely I will be cutting back, anyhow. I am discovering something I had forgotten; there's no better feeling in the world than laying in bed or on a couch reading with a dog curled up by you. That's easier to do in he winter time. And to be honest, I'm not real crazy about dealing with some of the more judgmental members of the fellowship these days. I've discussed developments in my life with those that I respect and that matter to me; I don't feel the need to open the subject up for public discussion, and there are a few people that would love to do that. I am becoming more and more aware of the damage I did years ago when I was one of those people, and I very much mind my own business now, but I don't feel like karmic justice requires me to be fodder for the rumor mills. I'd rather just go about quietly minding the store, and work on moving in new directions away from inquiring minds.
In general, I like my life as it is. I don't think that makes me complacent.

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