Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Worst Day of the Week

I'm beginning to not like Hump Day. Because it's not my Hump Day; it's the day I start my work week. At ten-thirty this evening, to be exact, for the first of my four ten-hour shifts that make up my work week. I know I am coming perilously close to sounding ungrateful for having a job, after struggling for five-plus months to find one this fall and winter. But it's draining, and at least during the summer, when most of the youth in the home have nothing to do all day and thus no incentive to go to bed at night, it's not an easy job.
School is five weeks away. I've also put in for another open position, one that is a day job, in the agency, although that will take a long time to take effect, if I even get chosen for the position. So I'm working on the assumption that I have five difficult weeks ahead. And I am not looking forward to this at all. I did get caught up on sleep very well this week, and I am starting to get used to a sleeping routine during the work week, too, so that's not the crisis it was a few weeks ago.But Wednesdays are still hard for me to get motivated for.
Especially since the money is about to dry up. I had been picking up overtime shifts for weeks, but as new staff come on board, that's changing. All things considered, I would prefer a few hours of overtime to augment the paycheck some, but not enough to necessitate a serious change in routine. That's why I've stopped complaining about relief staff coming in late, and why I volunteer for some tasks after shift ends. But between the new child support takeout, the new medical insurance that is taking effect, and the usual tax takeout--I'm going to be losing half my paycheck before it even hits the bank on a regular basis now. Ugh.
Well, this, too, shall pass, as my sponsor says. But the net effect is that Wednesday now is the longest day. I'm up at my usual morning time, but instead of going to bed at night, I go to work. Which means I'm thinking about going to work all day (especially on days we have staff meeting at 1 PM). Which means you start thinking about who's been a little turd all week, what problems you've missed in the three days you haven't been there, what crap HR has come up with this week, etc.
It's a bit of a luxury issue, I know. But it's also partly a reflection of not liking much of what is going on around me. Addiction is raging like a forest fire through our town right now; there have been a bunch of deaths and even more overdoses recently, and a few others I know that have gone to jail and prison as a result of their addiction are back behind bars because they cannot get off the merry-go-round. It seems like every other person I know has some kind of authority to answer to. My children are struggling with real-world monetary issues--finding a job, getting loans for college, keeping vehicles on the road. You don't ever get a pass on life, I know, but I really thought, even in mature recovery a few years ago, that it would get a little easier, not much harder, as I progressed into my 50's. Little did I know.
Well, there's nothing to do but get on with it.

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